It's branches spread out before me
paths too numerous to count
each leading me to the same destination
but a different story along the way
which should I take?
which is the way to go?
I walk blindly
not with sight,
but with my heart
my heart in my God
who places footprints before me
and I but step into them
but I'm to a crossroads
Which way should I go?
Where will I be taken?
If I have 3 things with me
I believe I don't much care
If I'm at my God's side,
shes at my right,
and my brethren to my left
Then I'll get through
No matter what happens
or where I go
I'll be happy.
Take the reigns,
show me the way
I give my way to you
at the end of the day.
It's official... I'm no longer a subservient to the Government. The US Army or PA National Guard no longer have the chains on my life. With whim or force I can effect change within my destiny, or allow God to do it for me. If I want to move from the country, or travel the world, I have to but do it.
This is the last full semester of college for me. A transition like none I've come across lies ahead. It's intimidating, to be honest, but exciting at the same time. I will miss many parts of it, and be glad its done as well. There's 2 classes yet I'll finish in the summer semester, then I'll have my associates in General Studies. I know, cop-out... So be it. It's time to get working full time; finally. Lets move on towards the next chapter in my life.
I aim to get working full time, and save up enough money to eventually get a loan and buy some property to either buy a house or build one. My decisions in this area are not my own, but dependent on 2 others decision, so naturally it's challenging for me. My roommate, Jeryl, is looking to buy a house and property within the month, and he's offering a room for me there if he gets it. It'll be a change, but that's often what causes growth, so it should be a good thing. He's offering me acreage there as well, which could be a great opportunity.
I want to fast-forward at times, truthfully. This is the hardest point in my life, by far. This last year has been the most challenging yet rewarding time in my life. Truthfully it's been harder than Iraq. But I've grown so much, learned a ton, had incredible growth in areas I never thought I could, and have cultivated relationships too deeper levels than I've had. I've met the woman I wish to be with for my life, and have to only be patient and focus on doing what's right, growing, and attaining stability. But I suppose if I just jumped ahead I'd miss out on all the good things that are going on, and look back regrettably. Instead I'll make the best of what I have, while staying focused ahead.
What does my future hold? I hope the following are inclusive, Lord willing.
A wife. :)
A stable, great full-time job.
Increased Spiritual growth.
A house.
10+ Acres.
A small farm.
Deeper friendships.
Hope.
Love.
Happiness.
Simplicity.
Family.
etc.
I understand that asking for such amazing things seems selfish, and rather unrealistic. But If I don't aim high I'll never hit my mark. I have a passion, zeal, and heart to get somewhere and do something to get these things, but I need more than that.
If your reading this, I humbly ask for prayers, support, and love. What more can I ask for? I know that my life and future is so interdependent on God's grace, and without him I have nothing. I want to be able to give back to God for all that hes done for me, and all that he may do for me in the future. I also want to give back to all those who have shown me so much love. I'm aware the impact it has on them, and yearn to be able to ease suffering and repay in whatever way I can. For those who have been supportive to me as of late, and have given me ear or shoulder, I am eternally grateful. Without your help and support, I doubt I could have got to where I am now, or made it through various struggles and decisions. Thanks so much for being there, listening, giving advice, caring, and showing me love.
For those who don't much care about my future or disagree with parts of it, please feel free to share your thoughts with me. I'm open to suggestion and wisdom, so long as it's done out of love, not envy, strive, anger, and the like. I feel at times those forces drive others against me, but know that it won't deter me. I know some don't exactly agree with my choice for a woman, but my mind isn't going to change, so showing me conditional love sure won't do any good. God will guide me and love will conquer all. I only hope that we can all one day be together in heaven, and get past this stuff that slows us down from attaining that goal.
These things are what drives me each day... Without them I'd be done, without her I'd be dead, and without him I'd be nothing.
Faith.
Love.
Patience.
Passion.
